


Kill the bloody director

by Charlie_Quinn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming Out, Crack, F/M, M/M, Please be nice, Song Lyrics, based of kill the directer by the pigeon detectives, i wrote it at midnight, mild swearing but there teenagers so duh, this is my first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:53:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24615589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie_Quinn/pseuds/Charlie_Quinn
Summary: A normal Thursday in Gryffindor Tower. Remus tells lily a secret and Peter eats while James is heart broken and Sirius is annoyingly pretty. Based of kill the director by the pigeon detectives.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, background James Potter/Lily Evans
Kudos: 24





	Kill the bloody director

**Author's Note:**

> Hey if your reading this thanks! It’s my first work and I’m not really sure how this works but I’m bored and it’s midnight so what the hell! A song fic based of kill the director by the pigeon detectives. Harry Potter and it’s characters and Settings are unfortunately in JK Rowlings possession but I can only dream! Sorry about any grammar mistakes I’m very tired. Anyway I hope you like it and please no mean comments I’m not in the mood :)

It was your average Thursday late evening in the gryffindor common room, almost empty except two 6th year prefects. One shaking like a leaf after revealing his almost darkest secret. The other in mild contemplation with a very knowing look on her face. 

Lily glanced at Remus out of the corner of her eye. His head was in his hands and his normally rich caramel skin was a stark white. His eyes were rimmed red and he looked up to lily with a pleading look. 

“Look Lily I’m sorry I’m disgusting I know I shouldn’t have told you I’ll- I’ll just go”

He quickly got up to leave the safety of the empty common room but Lily calmly reached out to his arm and pulled him down. 

“Remus you're not disgusting it’s perfectly normal to like boys and I’m glad you told me, I still love you” Remus shook his head slightly and turned away but Lily gripped his chin, “Remus stop it, you are normal.” 

Remus’ lips upturned a fraction but it didn’t reach his cold amber eyes and quipped, “Lily we both know I’ll never be normal” 

“Stop doing that!” 

“What?” 

“Downing yourself, Remus I excepted your a werewolf and I still love you and care about you did you really think a little thing like being gay would make me turn on you?” The girl was very exasperated by now. 

“Y-yes” Remus replied weakly and he reached forward and hugged Lily, relieved at her acceptance and wondering how he had made such wonderful friends. 

“Now” lily said with a Cheshire Cat grin that made Remus wary of her question. Lily was not always the perfect prefect and had a knack for finding secrets, “who is he?” 

Not that wonderful friends the nosey buggers. 

Remus blushes crimson and shuffled away quickly, “nope not happening we are not having this discussion.” 

“Come on Remus you have to tell me” begged Lily eyes sparkling with humour. 

Remus sat up in an imitation of Sirius when he’s being dramatic and clasped his chest with an aghast expression. “Never” he proclaimed through giggles that he was ashamed to admit where just that- giggles. Lily chuckled along with him and pushed his shoulders down muttering about marauder maniacs. 

She finally calmed down and changed her approach; her features morphed into a look of sincerity, “ok but how does he make you feel?” 

Remus gave her an incredulous look which she matched with her own I-won’t-give-up-till-you-tell-me smirk. Remus sighed giving in and let the love sick smile slowly form on his face. “Seasick” he said simply. 

Lily laughed fondly at his smitten look and murmured under her breath, “what a skill to have” 

Remus nodded slowly “indeed what a skill to have” 

Grinning wickedly Lily quipped, “any other skills that make him distinctive?”

Remus chuckled at her but a small sad smile crept across his face “yes but their not mine to have.” 

Lily had a vague idea of who this crush might be; she doubted said crush would be against the idea of being Remus‘ but gave him a consoling look anyway. 

Remus blushes again a deeply almost angry red and groaned, “you know whenever he looks I read the nearest paper.” 

Lily hummed and looked incredulouslyat Remus. That explained Remus’ seemingly constant supply of muggle tv magazines he squandered from Lily and new weird interest in ‘Eastenders’. Why the dramatic boy couldn’t use normal books she did not know. 

“Do you even care about the soaps?” Lily had wanted to read those magazines that Remus was stealing for stupid crush purposes! How else was she meant to keep up without a TV in sight at Hogwarts. 

“I don’t care about the soaps” Remus concedes and Lily hurruphfed while he looked vaguely guilty. 

“Sure you haven’t been reading them your acting like you're in an ‘Eastenders’ episode!” Lily bemoaned at him while Remus glowered slightly.

“God if this is a room-com I’m personally killing the director” 

Lily thought about her magazines, “you know what me too, kill the bloody director please you great lovesick mess” 

Remus for his part, looked mildly offended but mainly relieved still and smiled wryly at Lily. 

This seemed to end the conversation and they settled into comfortable silence checking each other's charms essays with a delicate focused precision. 

Around twenty minutes later Lily looked up at the time and nearly squawked in surprise. “I’m late for prefect duties” she said hurriedly before running out of the common room backpack hurriedly packed and unzipped. 

Remus grinned at her antics and slowly got up from the comfy red sofa. He reached for his bag and books and hurried up the boys dormitory. 

The sight he walked in on was the usual disarray of the sixth year boys rooms; Sirius sprawled rather delectably on Remus’ bed eating some chocolate Remus swore was his, Peter chomping on an unusually healthy snack -a carrot- in the corner on his own bed and James hung upside down from his four poster canopy looking rather grumpy and disheartened. 

Sirius’ long thick black hair was spread over his pillow and he was slightly damp from the shower and looked absolutely mouth watering. Remus felt he might combust if he stared too long. 

Remus finally dragged his eyes away from Sirius before clearing his throat to make his presence known 

After a confused frown sent his way Peter answered the least pressuring of his questions, “carrots make you see better in the dark” he waved a carrot in Remus’ face who politely batted it away with a smile. 

He then turned his questioning gaze to old Prongs who sighed in mock frustration and boldly stated, “don’t talk to girls mate they’ll break your heart” 

Remus realised he must be talking about lily problems and chose to avoid telling James about the conversation he’d had to avoid hours of interrogation about how pretty her eyes were? and whether she mentioned him at all? He used his wand to levitate prongs back to a normal angle. 

“That’s your head and that’s your spout mate” he said, flicking an old sock at James’ noggin. 

Before prongs could retaliate sirius buttered in, “it’s a wonder he’s got both since they work together and he can’t figure anything out” 

James stuck his tongue out at Sirius and cast a brief tickling charm his way. Sirius staunchly failed to not laugh and was about to launch himself at James before Remus pointedly raised his eyebrows at him and he conceded to stay. 

With all the angst of a teenage band Sirius huffed and turned to Remus, “Crazy love struck over there must be a new gender I’ll never understand” 

Remus found himself in agreement and padded over to his bed where he settled comfortably next to Sirius and pulled out his book, pride and prejudice. He sometimes saw Sirius as a tall handsome Mister Darcy till he remembered Padfoot's eclectic personality and a little bit on the small side of average height. In his mind his Pads was way better anyway. 

“Right” Prongs called from the bed next door “I’m writing another song!” 

The marauders all groaned in response as peter murmured under his breath, “this is a bloody rom com this” 

Remus was reminded of early and said slyly, “Better kill the director than aye Prongs.” 

Sirius and Peter murmured in agreement but Prongs was already writing on a spare piece of parchment clearly distracted by bad rhymes and weak metaphors for emerald eyes. 

The last thing Remus heard before he fell asleep against Sirius’ shoulder was Peter's quip of, “don’t know why you're so into her she’s no Briget Jones.” 

Sirius’ groan and the mention of his old rather busty but bloody annoying girlfriend reverberated over Remus and sent him into a satisfied dreamless slumber.


End file.
